Threatening Strike

I've threatened going on strike around here before, many times, and a few times did. I'm feeling a strike coming on again and decided to blog about it! I know I've posted many of these "setbacks" on FB before but don't think I've ever put it all down. But the funny part, oh.my.god, does this make me sound like my mother! Only when I was a kid, she would threaten to run away. I just want to throw my hands up and say I'm on strike.

Two times a month I have a cleaning lady come to clean the house and she brings a helper. I affectionately call them the maids but her name is Mary. Mary keeps my sanity. I love Mary. I fight for Mary. Constantly defend her around this house. Every Thursday before Mary comes a ritual of words spew from my mouth, If you don't put it away, the maids will. Find a place to put it, or the maids will. I pay the maids to clean the house, not to pick up after you. Seriously, if we had a parrot, HE'D at least have this memorized by now! But nope, I'd get just as much satisfaction talking to a brick wall (again, my mother!).

But alas, fallen on deaf ears, the maids pick up stuff and put things away that causes apparent lack of common sense and brain function. The maids don't pick up items from one room and move them to another room. They don't distribute your crap throughout the house in a weak attempt at hide n seek for your enjoyment. If things are left out on a counter or table or desk they will neatly stack these items and if its right next to a drawer where the stack can be neatly put in said drawer, they will put them there. But my family seems to think the maids are in cahoots with fraggle rock or something, hiding away precious items in a cave under the house.

They've been very lucky (or very wise) not to blame me for missing things. But I often want to ask if "the maids took it" excuse is getting tiresome yet, cause it certainly is to me. Today I said you know what, everytime you find an item that you said the maids took, I think you should have to call Mary and apologize! And I promise you 90% of the time, the lost item is sitting right there, if it was a snake it would've bit ya (again, Mom), when the maids get blamed. We've found missing hair accessories in the bathroom drawer with other hair accessories (GASP! I know!), a missing loaf of bread in the...wait for it...PANTRY in the kitchen! Work uniforms that were dirty and on the floor in the...laundry hamper! Seriously, she MUST be fired!! How dare the logic!

And it only gets better! What cracks me up, and something I love to tell others about, is how I'm the only one that seems to know the answers to these questions:
Where do we keep the towels?
In the linen closet where they've been for 3 years.
Do we have any more toilet paper?
In the utility room pantry, right where you helped me put it away last time we unloaded groceries.
Where's my hat?
I've never worn your hat.
The maids did something with my hat.
OY VEY - STRIKE!

My soulmate

During November this year I have participated in the daily posts on FaceBook about what I'm thankful for. Many times I've wanted to say my husband but kept changing my mind saying I'm going to save the best for last. Tonight I was about to post my thanks to him again and thought there's no way I can give proper sentiments in a FB status update. I mean seriously, I could write a book! Just today he forewent mountain bike riding with a bunch of guy friends because when they invited him he said sorry guys, I promised my wife I'd take her to church in the morning. After that we came home, he worked on the yard a bit while I tried to brush the dogs. Then he took me to lunch. After lunch I needed a nap so he went into repair man mode and fixed a slow faucet and a leaky shower head after a trip to Home Depot. Then we watched a movie. For dinner I heated us up some leftovers and then he went with a small grocery list to the store and to my parents house to pick up our dishes and camera we left over there. I mean honestly, I'd fight for this man to the death! And that was all just today! But let's back up...

When David and I first met I remember a conversation early on about why women choose the men they do. David had been on enough dates where he didn't feel valued as a good man and quickly decided nope, definitely not long term material. He said he had started to believe that nice guys finished last. Girls were smitten over the guys that paid them little attention and could act and treat them like jerks. Forgetting to call, being nonchalant about seeing the girl again, etc. For some reason girls would strive for the attention of men like that. And he had a point. I had found myself stupidly caught up in that same situation a couple of times. You get along with someone great, they say all the things you wanted to hear and then poof, distance. I'd find myself trying to will the phone to ring just to get that guy to talk to me or want to see me again. Even though I might not have been in love, yet, it was heartbreaking. Luckily I would come to my senses and move on, not all girls could do that. After dates with David he'd text me wow, can't believe how amazing it is to be around you. And I felt likewise, and I felt safe with this guy. He would say things like, I can't tell you all the things running through my head because I don't want to scare you away. He meant he genuinely had butterflies about being with me, talking to me, seeing me and couldn't wait for each subsequent time together. But he was afraid I'd be scared off by this and neither of us wanted to move too quick. But I told him, I know how to appreciate a good man. And a good man, no, damn great man, he is! I truly feel sorry for any woman that has not or can not open their heart up to a good man and appreciate him.

David cares about me, he loves me, I have no doubts about our relationship and he looks out for my well being. But he's like that for his family and friends too, as long as you don't try taking advantage of him, he can catch onto that pretty fast. Throughout this pregnancy he's been my rock, my motivator and encourager and at my weak moments my life source. I KNOW I can count on him for anything. From little to big, he can handle it. But best yet, he can handle me. I'm FAR from easy to put up with but I respect the hell out of this man and find it much easier to compromise with him than probably any other person ever. And he no longer feels like nice guys finish last.

So today, and every day, I'm thankful for my David, my husband, my world.

Ob/Gyn Office Meltdown

So as I have these pregnancy "experiences" I keep getting reminded by my family and friends to log this so I can look back at it later and laugh at myself.  Today I'm laughing through the tears cause really I know how pathetic and funny this MUST look to the outside world!

I'm week 30, feeling huge and know it's only going to get worse.  I think all pregnant women look so cute but for some reason think I look gross cause there are times I just feel gross!  And I know better, when I'm dressed I look like every other cute pregnant woman, but it just doesn't compute the same.

This morning I had my glucose tolerance test.  I had oatmeal before I went, then they hand me this bottle of "fruit punch" flavored drink.  Ok, drink this within 5 minutes and then in one hour we will take blood.  In that hour wait you'll do your follow up visit with Dr. Laden.  I drink the stuff and it's not terrible but ugh, I just guzzled it to not give myself any time to actually taste it.  Which is great in theory except for the after taste.  So I give the receptionist the empty bottle so she can start the clock.  Then I ask, can I at least have a piece of gum?  She says no, can't do anything for one hour, you don't want to mess up the test and have to do the 3 hour one.  Ok great, nasty taste left in my mouth.  I sit back down in the waiting area, which by the way is where I had to guzzle this stuff in front of strangers watching me, until the nurse calls me back to a room.

Dr. Laden comes in, says I'm looking very maternal.  Baby heart beat is great, my blood pressure is great, weight gain is fine, she says I'm measuring perfectly.  Then, she drops apparently the most emotional bomb shell I wasn't prepared for.  "You are in the home stretch now, time to start seeing me every 2 weeks.  Next appointment will be an ultrasound."  I still have no clue why that set me off but here come the water works!  "What? Home stretch, every 2 weeks? No, no, I'm not ready yet!"  I just want it all to slow down a little bit, I need more time, I don't feel like I'm ready, I'M NOT READY!  She tells me she remembers her first pregnancy (then says the rest were a blur cause she has 5 kids) and she'd sit in the baby's room in the rocking chair night after night just trying to wonder what it would be like having a baby around.  So after my visit with Dr. Laden is over they send me back to the waiting room because the hour isn't up yet.  GREAT, I've got tears and I'm sitting in the wiating room in front of a new batch of strangers watching me cry.  I don't know about you but when I cry I hate it and get upset with myself for crying and can't make it stop so it actually gets worse!  I just have tears, no wailing or anything, and I'm dabbing w/ a kleenex.  But across from me is a Mom with her teenage daughter about to have her first pap smear.  She's already nervous and here's this pregnant woman across from her crying!!  So either I scared her where she's afraid of the doctor OR it'll be a LONG time til she has sex because look what happens to you!  Lol!

Finally, hour is up and they take me to the blood draw station.  I'm sure everyone knows I'm not a fan of needles but I just look away.  I looked just long enough to see her pull out 4 vials and start labeling them and think geez, every time I'm here they take more than their fair share I mean seriously, how much blood do you people NEED from me!  Oh well, it was relatively painless and GASP, I lived.

At checkout I make my ultrasound appointment and leave, tears all the way to my car as I'm simultaneously laughing at myself.  I call my sister and she says yeah, it doesn't get easier and it's not about being on your time, doesn't matter if you are ready or not.  Ok, well, lots of sympathy there! Lol!  I know she's right but that didn't help.  I call my husband and he laughs, he thinks it's all so "cute".  Lol!  It does make me feel better, I don't know why, maybe because he's my teammate in all of this and seems so at ease w/ the speed of it.  So if he's ready and I'm not, at least one of us is!

Tales of a Pregnant Business Traveler

Unfortunately, this probably won't be a feel good post, lol, I'm going to complain, imagine that! First of all, anyone that says it would be fun to travel for work has not had to travel for work. But that's not even a big deal as now I travel about twice a year and I used to travel at least twice a month. Now when I travel for work I tend to look forward to it, until after the second night in a hotel bed. Having to pee in the middle of the night several times when you're preggo and not at home isn't fun either, all disoriented and running into the desk in the room. You only do that once though. Then do you recall the rental car? Right, a silver Nissan something or other. Out in the parking lot are at least 6 of them. Crap. Ok, check the keys for the license plate. Oh yes, mine is the one with bumper damage from Virginia, crap crap. Crappy dented rental car that I didn't notice when I picked it up! Good thing I've been to Hartford numerous times, know my way around and the fall weather has moved in here. On 5th day, time to get up early and go home! The responsibilities I was looking forward to leaving behind seem a bit more welcoming when you've slept alone for 4 nights. It's raining and the weatherman is calling it a washout. They've had 1/2 inch of rain. Please let my pilots be from Houston where a washout is at least 6"...an hour. At rental car return there's several lanes. One lane has a green light above it, the rest are red. Pretty straight forward if you ask me. As I pull in, attendant lady is running at me, waving both hands high into the air and waving me over to next aisle as if I've made a rookie mistake. Fine. Fix your damn red light/green lights then. Hmm, I realize I might not be in the best of moods. Looking forward to getting breakfast and finally home for a nap. As I head to bag drop and check in, a note pops up on computer kiosk. Your flight is over sold. Would you be willing to take a later flight for a $150 travel voucher? Ugh. But, that will help toward next year's Cabo trip. Will I still be able to make the 12:30 connecting flight? No, we'd have to move you to the departing flight out of Dulles at 5:30pm. Yeah no, I'm not spending 5+ hours in DC airport. Ok then, your flight is scheduled to depart at 10:30, it's 8:30, but our 5:50am flight is still here and departing at 9:15. I can put you on that one. Sweet, for $150 travel voucher? No, not for taking an earlier flight. But I can get you a whole row to yourself. Ok, fine, so much for breakfast. Security line. Hmpf. My issue with the security line is very rarely with the personnel but more the inexperienced traveler. I recall at Burbank airport they had a line specifically labeled for the experienced business traveler. SMART! They all need this line. I get behind some guy who has unloaded his entire backpack putting one item each into its own individual bin. After they all go through the scanner he stands there fiddling with his headphones and iPod and meanwhile his 8 bins lined up on the conveyer belt are preventing my bins from descending. HELLO, McFly, you're not the only damn person here. Don't you know my shoes are just out of reaching distance and I hate standing here w/out them on where thousands of others have stood here without shoes? As he continues to get his earbuds in and pick a suitable song, I start stacking his bins for him. Afterall, I'm on an earlier flight. He looks over at me and I politely point out there are tables off to the side to get yourself and stuff together. Hey, it was POLITE, I didn't say a single curse word. The experienced traveler line at Burbank started my brain down the path of just how many different airports I've been to. Burbank, Portland, Reno, Vegas, Phoenix, Houston, Hobby, San Antonio, Springfield, Oklahoma City, St. Louis, Kansas City, Salt Lake City, O'hare, Midway, Des Moines, Davenport, Denver, Orlando, Raleigh, Cleveland, Dulles, Bradley, Newark, Laguardia, Baltimore, Boston, Mexico City, Cabo, Grand Cayman, Cayman Brac, Honolulu, Lanei and Puerto Rico. Some day I'll be sure to add Europe to that list! Ok, back to my whining about travelers. At the gate they board by groups. I'm group 4. I don't stand up until they have already called group 3. But standing in the way of the ticket taker aisle are people in groups 6 and 7. Seriously? Move! People are so INCONSIDERATE it's unreal. As I make my way down to the plane we are of course backed up. Why? More inconsiderate people. In case you've never noticed, there's usually a line of people behind you waiting to take their seat. Now is not the time to dig through your bag while standing in the aisle, now is not the time to tuck in your shirt or adjust your belt. The flight is completely full, you men will not have your own overhead space for your suit jacket and ladies for your purses. Now is not the time to look for space, SIT DOWN, get out of the aisle! 2 rows in front of me a couple sits with a very young baby. 3 months maybe. Baby does scream some off and on but luckily not too much. But the worse offense of a traveler has got to be the one with unchecked body odor. There are those that seriously leave a trail of stench like Pepe Le Pew. There have been days that I may have forgotten to put on deodarant but never a shower with soap! Every convenient store, gift shop and pharmacy carries travel deodarant or smell goods. Your body odor is not pleasant, to ANYONE. Can you seriously not smell yourself?! Now that I've made it home safely, and without injuring any fellow travelers, first on my list? A shower, just in case any of their stank has attached itself to me. Plus after a long day of travel, a shower is just so refreshing. Second, this Momma needs a nap!

The loss of a friend

I married in December of 1997 and we bought a house that same month.  The first thing we wanted to do was get a dog.  After a couple of visits at the SPCA I fell in love with a spunky shepherd mix who ran circles in the visitation room in excitement of the attention.  For me, it was love at first sight and I named her Sheba.  Originally she was a birthday gift for my then husband.  However, I became her primary care taker and we instantly bonded.  I taught her to sit, stay, shake and speak.  My poor girl never could figure out how to roll over, but she did understand down.  She would key in on certain words knowing what they meant, such a smart dog.  Go for a ride meant the car, super excitement.  You need your leash on was a certain hint for something good, a ride, a walk, visiting Granny.  Saying Granny would certainly perk her up, she knew her Granny would spoil her rotten!  When I went through my divorce my ex-husband thought that because she was supposed to be his birthday present he automatically got her in the divorce.  Hahaha, over my dead body!  I said who feeds her every day? Who comes home at lunch to play with her and let her go outside to potty? Who takes her to the vet for her checkups and shots?  Who knows when she's sick and gets her help?  Well, I was the only person who did all that so he conceded.  During my divorce and single days she was my comfort, my rock, my friend and protector.  Not to mention my personal security alarm and doorbell!  When I moved in with David she took very easily to the change and loved him and Taylor.  At night when everyone would go to bed, she had to go to our room, go to Taylor's room back to ours a few times.  She was doing her job, making sure everyone was in their place and safe.  During the day she would stay beside my chair all day while I worked.  Occasionally nudging me for attention or needing out to go to the bathroom.  The last few years she started losing her hearing.  When she no longer heard the doorbell ring I knew her hearing loss was almost permanent.  But that was ok, she stuck by my side all the time anyway.  Last year she started getting a skin issue, we tried special shampoos, food, tea tree oil, etc.  So finally the vet recommended giving her a depo shot.  It worked miracles.  However, it did give her occasional seizures as a side effect.  We tried going w/out the shot and she was just miserable.  So we continued the shot and the seizures got less and less.  Then a few months ago she started losing muscle mass and had some trouble with her hips but glucosamine seemed to help.  She would eat just fine but would throw it up a lot but not til after 12 hours or more, so she wasn't getting any nutrients really absorbed.  I would fix her scrambled eggs in the morning and make gravy to put on her food in the evening.  I think this sustained her for longer.  I knew her time was nearing but I just couldn't bring myself to put her down, I didn't think she was ready.  I didn't think she was suffering and I could still sense her spunk.  She would still nudge me for attention, bark at me if she needed to go outside and would want to play ball if Granny came over to visit!  But Saturday morning she woke me to go outside so I let her out.  A few hours later she was lying by the back door.  David opened it and she looked up at him but didn't get up to come inside.  She never let an opportunity go by to be inside with us and in the air conditioning.  He called me to let me know what was going on as I was out shopping.  When I got home I opened the door for her and she did the same looked up at me but never moved.  I sat down right beside her and talked to her and petted her.  She never even wagged her tail but picked her head up and just put it in my lap.  I scooped her in my arms holding her like a baby, kissing her on the top of the head and I called out for David.  He came outside saw me crying and sat down next to me.  I said honey she's done.  For the first time I thought she might be suffering, wasn't herself and had given up.  Taylor came outside.  We all cried.  I continued to hold her and tell her how much her mommy loved her and how thankful I was for her being such an amazing dog to me, how much I appreciated her.  David took her from my arms and I got ahold of my Mom and told her.  She called our vet who agreed to meet us at the clinic, even on a Sunday.  I got in the truck and David put her back in my arms and I held her all the way to the office, talking sweetly to her, telling her how pretty she was and what she meant to me.  Mom and Dad met us at the vet's office to say goodbye to their granddog.  Dr. Hudson gave her a little shot as David kept reassuring her and mommy kept kissing her on her head.  She closed her eyes and went to sleep.  It was very peaceful and I knew she was in a much better place already.  My Daddy held me for a few minutes while I cried and then David did.  I saw the tears in everyone's eyes and I cried more.  I am so thankful for my time with her and for what she brought to our whole family, especially when we were all there for her at her passing.  Rest In Peace my sweet love Sheba girl.  I'll miss you forever.

Not I

I wrote this blog back in May or so and forgot to publish it.

After we got home Tuesday, I think we were both relieved and excited and decided to announce our news on FB. Wednesday came and went with nothing more than the usual nauseousness and cramping. Thursday we go out to Texas Roadhouse with some friends for dinner. I have 2 of their super yummy rolls, a side salad and order the grilled shrimp skewers. When they deliver the food it looks delish. When the waiter slides my plate under me I catch a whiff of the shrimp and almost lose everything I've already eaten. I quickly have David put my shrimp at the end of the table and just eat my green beans and dirty rice that came with it. I'm beyond frustrated because it looked really good and everyone else had some and said it tasted as good as it looked. Oh well. I still haven't been back to the gym since Monday but am leary anyway since I'm not supposed to get the heart rate over 140. Note to self, get something that measures heart rate. However, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. For those that know me well, know that I like to be on the go. And that feeling like I won't be well if I leave the house is sucking the life out of me. The good news however is that I am feeling better. I'm learning how to control the nausea by just eating small snacks all day, nutrigrain bar, 1/2 a PB&J, crackers & peanut butter, etc. The cramping is mostly tolerated with just tylenol. But the thing that is keeping me happy the most is my amazing husband. He knows when I'm not feeling well, can see it in my face & mannerisms and he just steps up to the plate every time. I normally love to cook dinner at night for my family, but I think in the last month I've only cooked twice. Mostly David and Taylor are taking care of things and I'm forever thankful! He genuinely cares about my well being and that gives me whatever strength I need especially when I'm only feeling like 10% of my normal self. My sister made pregnancy look easy! She had a few food aversions but that was about it. My friend Amy loved being pregnant! Not I, so far I can't say that I do. Now I'm excited that I am, what a miracle, but haven't had enough good days yet. I keep getting told, you should enjoy your pregnancy, relax. TRUST ME, I definitely WANT to and hope to get there soon!

One moment at a time

The week after Mothers Day goes by as slow as molasses going uphill in January. Each day I pray for no pain episodes. I have mostly back and pelvic cramping to keep me company. I do have a few more episodes but they seem to be diminishing in frequency and severity. The source of the pain has definitely shifted lower and I'm sure the stone is almost out. The weekend comes and I'm feeling better. Lots of cramping but that I can put up with, somewhat. I go to a baby shower Saturday morning and held a purse party at my house that afternoon. Mom and Dad come over for dinner and we keep my niece and nephew for several hours while my sis and her husband go to the movies. All in all it was a great day but I'm scared for that night, afraid I over did it. I think I only woke up a few times due to cramping. Sunday David and I go to breakfast and then to Humble. After he mows his parents yard we go to a friends house and lounge in the pool. It was EXACTLY what my achy body needed!  I actually for the first time since I can remember, slept through the night.  Monday, May 21st, I did well.  I had some cramping but 2 tylenol later and I was fine.  So I decided to go to the gym.  Still don't know if that was the right decision or not, but I like to workout.  No, I LOVE to workout.  It keeps me sane, I literally breathe better, I'm healthier, I get sick a lot less often and it's the best stress relief I've known.  I get in a "good" workout but it's nowhere near the standards of what I'm used to.  For one, I've been away from the gym for a few weeks.  Two, my trainer and gym buddy, God love them, treated me like I was broken.  But with the heat and the punching bag exercises, I worked up a good sweat and felt good about it.  They made me promise to discuss my exercising with my Dr. on Tuesdays appointment, fearing that I was wanting to do way more than I should.  Ok, ok, I promised.

 David gets off work early and picks me up and it's off to the ob we go.  Another ultrasound shows the sac is huge compared to my little peanut!  But that's normal and a good sign.  Next she turns on the sound and there it is, my little peanut's heartbeat, beating at 138 bpm.  Perfect.  My first official ob visit (not just because I kept ending up in the hospital in pain).  So because I haven't had a cycle since New Year's (female issues) they don't have anything to go off of to give me a due date other than measurements, which at this stage isn't too accurate.  So by measuring the length of the baby they push my due date back from Jan. 6 to Jan 12.  Apparently I let out an ugh sound, cause the Dr. looks at me and says I know, this has been a looooong pregnancy already hasn't it?!  Yes I said, at 8 weeks in, I'm ready!  She prints off a couple of the ultrasound pictures for me, which are not near as clear as what we saw on screen.  We could actually make out the head and heart on the screen, no such luck on the printed pic.  Then off to the lab I'm sent.  The lady drawing blood starts pulling out vials to fill and she gets 8 of them.  OMG I declare, I think that's enough, to which she just laughs and says I know right?!  Leave some for the baby I tell her!  Next is a talk with the head nurse about family medical history and pregnancy Do's and Don'ts and 2 large bags of goodies filled with magazines, books, plenty of reading material, a journal and lots and lots of vitamins.  I'm told normally they tell pregnant moms to take an additional 1200mg of calcium, to support the baby growing, but not me.  With my kidney stone issue, they want me to get my extra calcium from food (80% of kidney stones are made of calcium).  Good, I like milk!  But then comes the kick in the pants.  I need to limit my exercising.  No kickboxing.  Boxing fine, walking fine, water aerobics recommended.  Do NOT get overheated and do NOT let your heartbeat get over 140.  WHAT?  Do you know in a good class I can get my heartrate up to 180 pretty easily?  Anything over 140 starts to deplete oxygen from your baby so it can supply it to you.  Especially since you have a higher blood volume right now and work harder to get it all through your circulatory system.  Fine, this makes sense but I'm not happy about it!

The Weekend of Unknown

Friday May 4th I still have a few episodes of pain but Saturday I only have one. Sunday and Monday I'm sore and achy but no extreme episodes. I'm apprehensive to say it's over but hopeful. David picks me up and we head to my ob/gyn. Im nervous as to what they'll find. Ultrasound shows a pregnancy in the uterus! But we still can't pinpoint exactly what caused the pain. By measuring the gestational sac, estimated due date is Jan 6th. We schedule a follow up appt for the next Tuesday. She wants to check sac progression. I ask what do I do if the pain comes back? She says if our office is open call us, if after hours go back to ER. I make it through the week with episodes but they seem minor in comparison as they only last 5 to 10 minutes at most. Friday and Saturday I feel cramp like pain most of the day. Sunday morning for mothers day we head to church with David's parents and I'm just feeling sickly. About 10 minutes into the service a terrible episode hits and I excuse myself to the lobby. I sit in a chair and just cry. Why is this happening?! David comes out to check on me and he comments how I've broken out in a sweat. Right away he helps me to the car and we go home. Only one hour after the first episode ends does another one start. Take me back to the hospital I beg so we are on our way. I check in and the lobby is packed. Oh boy. I grimace through the rest of the episode giving the evil eye to the parents that are letting their 3 kids run around screaming like a banshee. About an hour or so in the pain is gone, David is asleep in the chair next to me and more people are coming in. I go to the front desk and ask if they can give me an estimate of how long til they see me. Obviously I've been triaged very low as he says SEVERAL more hours because they have a lot of really sick people right now. Ok I tell him, since my pain comes in waves I'm feeling ok now and would like to go home. Hell if I have to tough it out, I'd rather do it at home. First thing Monday morning I call my doc and tell her what's going on. I get an appt around noon and have another episode at 11. Thus I can't drive myself so my Mom offers to take me. Another urine culture shows blood but no infection. Another sign of kidney stone. But another ultrasound shows baby is doing great, everything has doubled or tripled in size in a week. Dr. gives me stronger pain meds and says she will be consulting with a urologist on my case. She also gives me her cell and says if you have to go back to ER, call me. We will bypass the waiting room and the urologist and I will come down and do surgery. SURGERY? While I'm pregnant? Yes she says, it's alot safer than a CT scan. But the safest yet is for you to pass this on your own. We cancel the one week follow up I was supposed to have on Thursday and schedule for another week on May 22nd, to measure the heartbeat.

ER part 2

David shows up and immediately I start crying again. I'm overwhelmed, shocked, disoriented and explain that if it's ectopic they will terminate the pregnancy immediately. He tries to console me but I really don't know what I need. On one hand we weren't going to have any kids. After Taylor graduates we were going to have our freedom and travel and enjoy the money we were making together. On the other hand for 20 years I'd had trouble with endometriosis, ovarian cysts, misshaped uterus and for all the years I HAD tried to get pregnant had been told and accepted that I would not conceive on my own. Well here I am, while on birth control mind you and now there's a chance we'd have to terminate?! How cruel! David and I get called back for the ultrasounds. I'm so early in the pregnancy that they can't really see anything. Nothing in the Fallopian tubes either. If it was ectopic it would be too early to start causing pain. So we are back to the kidney stone theory. But the only way to know for sure is a CT Scan. But, that's a no no when pregnant. So I get prescribed an antibiotic, Vicodin and told to drink LOTS of fluids and my Ob/gyn wants to see me on Monday.

Trip to ER & SURPRISE!

Wednesday evening, May 2nd, another episode. Wednesday night again. I ask David to take me to the ER but I can't even move to get in the car let alone out of bed. Obviously I know it passes so I need to tough it out. The pain passes and David asks if I need help getting to the car. I can't see going to the ER when the pain is gone and other than absolute exhaustion I feel fine. I decide to wait and just call the doc when they open Thursday morning. At 7 David leaves for work, says call me if you need me or if you need me to come home and take you to the doctor. At 7:30 another episode is hitting and my sister calls. She is on her way to take my niece to sign up for Kindergarten. She insists she swing by and take me to the hospital. She said at the very least so they can give me something to make the pain stop. Well that convinced me. On our way there I called David to let him know. He said he'd head up there shortly. My sister let my parents know she was taking me to the ER. I had her drop me off and only to my protest would she leave me as I did NOT want them missing Elisha's big day. Besides David was on his way and Mom decided to come too. Plus who knew how long I'd have to sit in the waiting room. But they took my vitals, told them my pain was an 8 and my blood pressure was sky high (from the pain of course). That prompted them to take me immediately. I saw 3 nurses, explaining to each my symptoms all while rocking back and forth on the hospital bed with tears. The Dr. came in, felt around, I was definitely way more tender on my left side. She ordered an iv with a shot of pain meds and zofran for the nausea. First thoughts were ruptured cyst or kidney stone. After about 5 minutes I was feeling gooooood and so thankful! They had me go pee in a cup and took some blood. Then said have a seat in the waiting room while we have the labs run. At that time my Mom showed up. But no sooner did I start filling Mom in, the nurse comes out and says the doc needs to discuss something with me. I thought that was an odd statement but ok. I walked back into the room and have a seat. Dr. H says honey we can't run a CT scan or give you anymore pain medicine because you're pregnant. Oh no I'm not I argued. I JUST saw my ob/gyn last week and talked to them yesterday, test was negative. She said well that was last week, this week test is positive. You have a terrible bladder infection and we are now concerned about an ectopic pregnancy. Just freaking great. She said we've made a call to your Dr. and will do some ultrasounds soon. I'll call you back when we're ready. I leave the room in tears and texting David to hurry up.

Unbelievable Pain

Monday, April 30th started off as a regular day for me and at the end of the day I hit the gym, got in a good boxing workout and headed home. I scheduled a workout with a friend for 6am Tuesday morning so I wanted to get home, shower, eat dinner and get to bed as soon as possible. But after my shower my back really started aching. I took a few Advil and went to bed. In the middle of the night I woke up in excruciating pain. My very low back was twisted up in knots and my pelvic region felt like someone had reached inside and was ripping out my insides. I was doubled over, hardly able to breathe and wailing in pain. It lasted what seemed like an eternity but was probably more like 10 to 15 minutes. I faintly remember David waking up and asking me if I was ok. Once the pain stopped I thought OMG WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I texted my friend and said no way could I workout I had done something to my back. Tuesday morning came and I was feeling better. I started working and mid morning, wham, another episode. I laid on my massage chair and started doing deep breathing techniques, but nothing helped. I moved to the couch hunched over and rocking back and forth again taking deep long breaths. Once the pain subsided I looked at the clock. I could've swore 15 minutes had passed. At this point my whole body is sore. Obviously no gym again that night, decided to take it easy. In the middle of the night another episode hits, this one lasting about 25 minutes. The whole time I'm hunched over the porcelain fixture in the bathroom heaving, which I know is from the pain. I start digging through every medicine cabinet, closet or drawer I can find trying desperately to locate ANYTHING stronger than Advil. I found a bottle with 3 Darvocet so I pop one of those and also found an ambien and take that. It does nothing. I'm doubled over on the floor if not pacing back and forth just trying to breathe. My poor husband is lost. He asks if there's anything I want or need or what can he do. All I can muster in response is please put me out of my misery. Wednesday morning rolls around and I've had all of 2 hours of sleep. I feel like I've been hit by a bus. I sit at my computer, get on a conference call and try to patiently wait til 9am when my Ob/gyns office opens. You see, I've had a host of female problems and had just seen them the previous week as something felt off and I wanted them to run some hormone tests, etc. I had been on new birth control pills since January and hadn't had a cycle since. At this point I was convinced I had an ovarian cyst rupture. I leave a message and the PA calls back at lunch. She said your tests look pretty good, pregnancy test was negative, but the new pills I started you on on Sunday are probably trying to make you have a cycle. Or you could've grown a cyst but the new pills should help with that too. She said since they close at noon on Wednesdays to call back Thursday morning if I was still cramping and they'd see me right away. Cramping?? She obviously had no clue that I was describing WAY more than that! Ok I thought, I'll call them back in the morning and get an appointment. If only I made it that far...