The loss of a friend

I married in December of 1997 and we bought a house that same month.  The first thing we wanted to do was get a dog.  After a couple of visits at the SPCA I fell in love with a spunky shepherd mix who ran circles in the visitation room in excitement of the attention.  For me, it was love at first sight and I named her Sheba.  Originally she was a birthday gift for my then husband.  However, I became her primary care taker and we instantly bonded.  I taught her to sit, stay, shake and speak.  My poor girl never could figure out how to roll over, but she did understand down.  She would key in on certain words knowing what they meant, such a smart dog.  Go for a ride meant the car, super excitement.  You need your leash on was a certain hint for something good, a ride, a walk, visiting Granny.  Saying Granny would certainly perk her up, she knew her Granny would spoil her rotten!  When I went through my divorce my ex-husband thought that because she was supposed to be his birthday present he automatically got her in the divorce.  Hahaha, over my dead body!  I said who feeds her every day? Who comes home at lunch to play with her and let her go outside to potty? Who takes her to the vet for her checkups and shots?  Who knows when she's sick and gets her help?  Well, I was the only person who did all that so he conceded.  During my divorce and single days she was my comfort, my rock, my friend and protector.  Not to mention my personal security alarm and doorbell!  When I moved in with David she took very easily to the change and loved him and Taylor.  At night when everyone would go to bed, she had to go to our room, go to Taylor's room back to ours a few times.  She was doing her job, making sure everyone was in their place and safe.  During the day she would stay beside my chair all day while I worked.  Occasionally nudging me for attention or needing out to go to the bathroom.  The last few years she started losing her hearing.  When she no longer heard the doorbell ring I knew her hearing loss was almost permanent.  But that was ok, she stuck by my side all the time anyway.  Last year she started getting a skin issue, we tried special shampoos, food, tea tree oil, etc.  So finally the vet recommended giving her a depo shot.  It worked miracles.  However, it did give her occasional seizures as a side effect.  We tried going w/out the shot and she was just miserable.  So we continued the shot and the seizures got less and less.  Then a few months ago she started losing muscle mass and had some trouble with her hips but glucosamine seemed to help.  She would eat just fine but would throw it up a lot but not til after 12 hours or more, so she wasn't getting any nutrients really absorbed.  I would fix her scrambled eggs in the morning and make gravy to put on her food in the evening.  I think this sustained her for longer.  I knew her time was nearing but I just couldn't bring myself to put her down, I didn't think she was ready.  I didn't think she was suffering and I could still sense her spunk.  She would still nudge me for attention, bark at me if she needed to go outside and would want to play ball if Granny came over to visit!  But Saturday morning she woke me to go outside so I let her out.  A few hours later she was lying by the back door.  David opened it and she looked up at him but didn't get up to come inside.  She never let an opportunity go by to be inside with us and in the air conditioning.  He called me to let me know what was going on as I was out shopping.  When I got home I opened the door for her and she did the same looked up at me but never moved.  I sat down right beside her and talked to her and petted her.  She never even wagged her tail but picked her head up and just put it in my lap.  I scooped her in my arms holding her like a baby, kissing her on the top of the head and I called out for David.  He came outside saw me crying and sat down next to me.  I said honey she's done.  For the first time I thought she might be suffering, wasn't herself and had given up.  Taylor came outside.  We all cried.  I continued to hold her and tell her how much her mommy loved her and how thankful I was for her being such an amazing dog to me, how much I appreciated her.  David took her from my arms and I got ahold of my Mom and told her.  She called our vet who agreed to meet us at the clinic, even on a Sunday.  I got in the truck and David put her back in my arms and I held her all the way to the office, talking sweetly to her, telling her how pretty she was and what she meant to me.  Mom and Dad met us at the vet's office to say goodbye to their granddog.  Dr. Hudson gave her a little shot as David kept reassuring her and mommy kept kissing her on her head.  She closed her eyes and went to sleep.  It was very peaceful and I knew she was in a much better place already.  My Daddy held me for a few minutes while I cried and then David did.  I saw the tears in everyone's eyes and I cried more.  I am so thankful for my time with her and for what she brought to our whole family, especially when we were all there for her at her passing.  Rest In Peace my sweet love Sheba girl.  I'll miss you forever.