Threatening Strike

I've threatened going on strike around here before, many times, and a few times did. I'm feeling a strike coming on again and decided to blog about it! I know I've posted many of these "setbacks" on FB before but don't think I've ever put it all down. But the funny part, oh.my.god, does this make me sound like my mother! Only when I was a kid, she would threaten to run away. I just want to throw my hands up and say I'm on strike.

Two times a month I have a cleaning lady come to clean the house and she brings a helper. I affectionately call them the maids but her name is Mary. Mary keeps my sanity. I love Mary. I fight for Mary. Constantly defend her around this house. Every Thursday before Mary comes a ritual of words spew from my mouth, If you don't put it away, the maids will. Find a place to put it, or the maids will. I pay the maids to clean the house, not to pick up after you. Seriously, if we had a parrot, HE'D at least have this memorized by now! But nope, I'd get just as much satisfaction talking to a brick wall (again, my mother!).

But alas, fallen on deaf ears, the maids pick up stuff and put things away that causes apparent lack of common sense and brain function. The maids don't pick up items from one room and move them to another room. They don't distribute your crap throughout the house in a weak attempt at hide n seek for your enjoyment. If things are left out on a counter or table or desk they will neatly stack these items and if its right next to a drawer where the stack can be neatly put in said drawer, they will put them there. But my family seems to think the maids are in cahoots with fraggle rock or something, hiding away precious items in a cave under the house.

They've been very lucky (or very wise) not to blame me for missing things. But I often want to ask if "the maids took it" excuse is getting tiresome yet, cause it certainly is to me. Today I said you know what, everytime you find an item that you said the maids took, I think you should have to call Mary and apologize! And I promise you 90% of the time, the lost item is sitting right there, if it was a snake it would've bit ya (again, Mom), when the maids get blamed. We've found missing hair accessories in the bathroom drawer with other hair accessories (GASP! I know!), a missing loaf of bread in the...wait for it...PANTRY in the kitchen! Work uniforms that were dirty and on the floor in the...laundry hamper! Seriously, she MUST be fired!! How dare the logic!

And it only gets better! What cracks me up, and something I love to tell others about, is how I'm the only one that seems to know the answers to these questions:
Where do we keep the towels?
In the linen closet where they've been for 3 years.
Do we have any more toilet paper?
In the utility room pantry, right where you helped me put it away last time we unloaded groceries.
Where's my hat?
I've never worn your hat.
The maids did something with my hat.
OY VEY - STRIKE!