Ready To Pick

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Is it really necessary?

Lately there's been a lot of publicity around men that cheat.  Well, it's always been out there but the Chilean miner with a wife and a mistress waiting for him brought new eyes and news to the scene.  I feel for the guys in the mine and since the wife and mistress knew about each other, it wasn't like it was a surprise to all of them, just to us.  Our local radio station played listener comments the other day on how they felt about the situation.  One lady said, if I were the wife, when he came up, I'd push him back down that hole for another 60 days!  Can't say I'd blame her.  And, the new Halloween craze costume this year is for a guy to dress as a miner and go to a party with a girl on each arm.  Ok, I get humor, it's funny, but is it really necessary to make them semi-celebrities?

We already have that stupid show Cheaters, which I can NOT stand to watch it, Jerry Springer and whatever else other crap is out there showcasing the stupidity of some of these guys.  Every Thursday morning is the Roula and Ryan Roses show where they call up someone and offer to send a dozen roses to a person of their choice.  The vast majority is a guy sending the flowers to another woman, while the wife/girlfriend listens on the other line.  Then of course all hell breaks loose.

But I have a message for guys out there that cheat or are thinking about it or doing it now.  YOU WILL GET CAUGHT.  It's not a matter of if, but when.  And it may take some time before you do get caught, but it will happen.  Here's why.  #1) Women tend to have a sense of intuition about these things.  If they are suspicious, they will find something.  #2) If it's been going on for awhile, you'll feel too comfortable and will slip up at some point, forget to delete a voicemail, text, etc etc etc.  #3) Every single woman I know has and does at some point "check up" on her man for no apparent reason whatsoever.  They will look at email, cell phones, Facebook, bank accounts, you name it.  Usually out of curiousity and sometimes just to satisfy themselves that they have a good man, or hope to find him saying something sweet about them.  Every single woman I know has done this, period.  I'm certainly not saying it's right, I'm simply saying it happens.  #4)  Women like to feel special, to be the number one apple of their man's eye.  Your woman will start to "feel it" if she's not.  And, if you have a mistress, at some point, she will want this and it will wreak havoc on your marriage/relationship if you don't give it to her, she'll tell your wife/significant other, whatever.  So unless you're paying this person to be your mistress, she will rat you out eventually/"accidentally".

I don't understand it, I really don't.  If you don't want to be with a woman, leave.  I realize that sounds a whole lot simpler than it is, but I can promise you, if you think it's hard, wait until she finds out you're cheating, then see how hard it is.  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  Yes yes, so cliche, we've heard it all before, but it is so so so true.  One of them will get mad, either the wife or the mistress.

Of course this is one sided, I'm a woman.  I can only tell you what I know as a woman and what I feel as a woman.
I realize there has to be trust in a relationship, but trust and respect are earned, not granted.  And once that is lost, it's REALLY hard to get it back.  You'd have to work 100x harder the next time.  My ex-husband used to tell me that he could never "guarantee" me that he wouldn't cheat.  He said that if a semi-decent looking woman came up to him and stripped down naked and said she wanted to have sex, that he would not be able to say no.  A real winner I know (because seriously, what is the point of telling your wife that?).  Luckily, I now have the most amazing man ever who I KNOW would take one look at that woman and say you're a floozie and I want nothing to do with you.  THAT my friends is a real man, one that definitely earns respect and trust.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

3 Dog Night

I think my parents need an extracurricular activity, besides the one they have recently come up with!

It seems that most mornings I get a text from my Dad, telling me what number of o'possum he caught in his trap last night. And since we're in Texas, the term critter or possum will be used here on out. A few hours later I usually get a text from Mom, telling me what Dad caught in his trap last night. I usually shake my head and try to go back to sleep. 
 
What ceases to amaze me is my parent's surprise each day at their catch.  They live in NW Houston, basically in the sticks.  If you put out a trap you're going to catch something.  So far they've caught 7 possums, a raccoon and a stray black cat. 
 
It all started because of their 3 dogs, mostly the 2 jack russell terrorists.  No, I didn't misspell.  A critter in the backyard is apparently cause for a terrible alarm and a sound off of 3 dogs in the night waking up the neighborhood.  So this is their solution to the problem, a pre-emptive strike.  Although I'm really not sure how much Mom actually has to do with this.  I did ask Dad today to go ahead and recite to me the definition of insanity.  He said, "very funny". 
 
My nature loving father (who is FAR from being a tree hugger) relocates the critters out by the airport where there's protected wooded areas.  But what keeps me chuckling, how many critters are there in NW Houston that he will keep catching, obviously a new one to replace the relocated one's territory at a moments notice.  I don't know, if you set down breakfast at my table in my home every morning as a trap, you'd catch me every single day. 
 
The real kicker is going to be when there's a segment on the news about the nuisance explosion of possums or other critters at Houston's Intercontinental Airport!