So as I have these pregnancy "experiences" I keep getting reminded by my family and friends to log this so I can look back at it later and laugh at myself. Today I'm laughing through the tears cause really I know how pathetic and funny this MUST look to the outside world!
I'm week 30, feeling huge and know it's only going to get worse. I think all pregnant women look so cute but for some reason think I look gross cause there are times I just feel gross! And I know better, when I'm dressed I look like every other cute pregnant woman, but it just doesn't compute the same.
This morning I had my glucose tolerance test. I had oatmeal before I went, then they hand me this bottle of "fruit punch" flavored drink. Ok, drink this within 5 minutes and then in one hour we will take blood. In that hour wait you'll do your follow up visit with Dr. Laden. I drink the stuff and it's not terrible but ugh, I just guzzled it to not give myself any time to actually taste it. Which is great in theory except for the after taste. So I give the receptionist the empty bottle so she can start the clock. Then I ask, can I at least have a piece of gum? She says no, can't do anything for one hour, you don't want to mess up the test and have to do the 3 hour one. Ok great, nasty taste left in my mouth. I sit back down in the waiting area, which by the way is where I had to guzzle this stuff in front of strangers watching me, until the nurse calls me back to a room.
Dr. Laden comes in, says I'm looking very maternal. Baby heart beat is great, my blood pressure is great, weight gain is fine, she says I'm measuring perfectly. Then, she drops apparently the most emotional bomb shell I wasn't prepared for. "You are in the home stretch now, time to start seeing me every 2 weeks. Next appointment will be an ultrasound." I still have no clue why that set me off but here come the water works! "What? Home stretch, every 2 weeks? No, no, I'm not ready yet!" I just want it all to slow down a little bit, I need more time, I don't feel like I'm ready, I'M NOT READY! She tells me she remembers her first pregnancy (then says the rest were a blur cause she has 5 kids) and she'd sit in the baby's room in the rocking chair night after night just trying to wonder what it would be like having a baby around. So after my visit with Dr. Laden is over they send me back to the waiting room because the hour isn't up yet. GREAT, I've got tears and I'm sitting in the wiating room in front of a new batch of strangers watching me cry. I don't know about you but when I cry I hate it and get upset with myself for crying and can't make it stop so it actually gets worse! I just have tears, no wailing or anything, and I'm dabbing w/ a kleenex. But across from me is a Mom with her teenage daughter about to have her first pap smear. She's already nervous and here's this pregnant woman across from her crying!! So either I scared her where she's afraid of the doctor OR it'll be a LONG time til she has sex because look what happens to you! Lol!
Finally, hour is up and they take me to the blood draw station. I'm sure everyone knows I'm not a fan of needles but I just look away. I looked just long enough to see her pull out 4 vials and start labeling them and think geez, every time I'm here they take more than their fair share I mean seriously, how much blood do you people NEED from me! Oh well, it was relatively painless and GASP, I lived.
At checkout I make my ultrasound appointment and leave, tears all the way to my car as I'm simultaneously laughing at myself. I call my sister and she says yeah, it doesn't get easier and it's not about being on your time, doesn't matter if you are ready or not. Ok, well, lots of sympathy there! Lol! I know she's right but that didn't help. I call my husband and he laughs, he thinks it's all so "cute". Lol! It does make me feel better, I don't know why, maybe because he's my teammate in all of this and seems so at ease w/ the speed of it. So if he's ready and I'm not, at least one of us is!
